The last time Lisa and I were close we took a class in jewellery crafts at the New School. One reason she has been on my mind now more than usual is that I have recently taken up my jewellery tools and I find that they are covered in a layer of memories of Lisa.
I had to leave the class early when i took a job in CA, but Lisa continued on. Now I pick up the tools and they remind me of her, and NYC, and taking the PATH through the WTC to meet her at Parson's. Then just like that I take a job in CA and so many years later everything is gone except the tools. No Lisa, No WTC, no Nordstrom chocolate whose boxes ended up in my toolkit for making patterns.
This trying to write prose that contains the name Lisa in no easy task. I end up deleting half the paragraphs since thinking of Lisa always seems to lead me down a path that I prefer not to publish. A lot of hard memories, and a lot of good ones too, neither of which belong on a blog. Especially since the purpose of this blog is only to get someone that knows her to notice it and point Lisa to me. (see below)
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I was spending my time in the doldrums
I was caught in the cauldron of hate
I felt persecuted and paralyzed
I thought that everything else would just wait
While you are wasting your time on your enemies
Engulfed in a fever of spite
Beyond your tunnel vision reality fades
Like shadows into the night
To martyr yourself to caution
Is not going to help at all
Because there'll be no safety in numbers
When the Right One walks out of the door
Can you see your days blighted by darkness?
Is it true you beat your fists on the floor?
Stuck in a world of isolation
While the ivy grows over the door
So I open my door to my enemies
And I ask could we wipe the slate clean
But they tell me to please go fuck myself
You know you just can't win
It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick family
John Chris Pagano of Totowa NJ. Is henry hunt. He went to lehigh university. He graduated with an EE degree in the mid 80's.
A strong case can be made that he is Struggling with Narcissistic Personality Disorder or possibly borderline personality disorder
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